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Shady's got-a gun. [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | Bitches think I'm cute. ]
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[14 Dec 2028|12:56am]
If you've added me, this would be the place to let me know 'bout it.
If I get locked up tonight...

[10 Sep 2010|02:42pm]
[ mood | MK, KR, JA, NR, KK, CA, BS ]

Make sure you're watchin' the VMAs on Sunday 'cause I'm the best thing that's ever happened-ta you. 'n' you know it.
52 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

I still got it. [10 Apr 2009|08:58pm]

"Eminem is obviously on an obscene rant about Sarah Palin, it's totally obscene, totally inappropriate."

"All I want to do is repeat that Eminem means nothing. The video means nothing. It's played for kids that are confused."

“He represents the lowest form of entertainment in this country. No one over 25 listens to it”

-Bill O’Reilly, 59 years old
12 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[20 Oct 2007|03:05pm]
[ mood | inactive ]

I'm tryin'-ta get the new album out by next year.

I turned 35 Wednesday. Thanks for those-a you who remembered. It means-a lot.

I guess I'm releasin'-a DVD-a 'Live In New York City' on November 12. From 2005 at Madison Square Garden.

'n' since I'm randomly bringin' back old shit-ta sell-ta my fans, lemme promote it by showin' you an old interview-a mine but prolly the most personal one I ever done.

See you in 6 or so weeks. Peace.

17 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[08 Sep 2007|10:59pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

*enters the hotel, keeping his hat pulled low and throwing a look over his shoulder as he makes his way to the elevator, punching in the number of the floor you've told him you're staying at, watching the numbers as the elevator rises floors*

*getting off at your floor, searching for your door number, adjusting the collar of his shirt, his throat suddenly feeling dry, finding the number and stopping*

*running a hand over his hat and knocking on the door*


20 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[04 Aug 2007|02:04pm]
[ mood | here ]

Almost tripped over the suitcases and the boxes as I came through the door. I prolly shoulda been more surprised-ta see 'em, but I really wasn't. I shut the door 'n' as I was lookin' down at what I'd almost tripped over, she came through the doorway. Lookin' at me, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. 'n' she was quiet.

"I would've told you sooner but. You would have had to answer your phone."

I nodded 'n' looked down. It's been a little over two months since she's moved in. 'n' she's prolly lived here alone, almost the whole time. Most-a my days are in the studio. My phone's always off. I come home 'n' sleep, 'n' that's 'bout the only time when we been together. Other than the once in a while I actually came through for a meal or two out wit' her. Or the time 'n' 'gain she showed up-ta surprise me at the studio, we'd get a few minutes here or there. But it wasn't ever for too long.

She broke the stare from me 'n' then looked down at her things. "I think that's it," she started up 'gain, 'n' she paused after she picked up one-a her boxes, "I think it's been it since before I moved in."

'n' she was right. We'd broken up once 'fore 'n' got back together for a bit 'fore she moved in. But even then, we wasn't as good as we was 'fore. I was always there, she was always here. Like I said at the start, I was suprised-ta not come home-ta bags packed 'n' boxes set up 'fore. She coulda left so long 'fore now, y'know. But she stayed through un-answered phone calls 'n' days wit'-out much bein' said. Through dates set that didn't ever happen. She stuck 'round. 'n' that was it.

I took the box from her, I looked down at the other shit 'round my feet, "Let me get this." 'n' I did. I knew it was a lot-a work for her-ta move in, so I helped her move out. It was the least I could do for two months-a solitary she had-ta go through wit' me. As I lifted the last box in-ta the back-a her car, the other shit sent ahead, she got in 'n' I watched her drive off.

Y'know, I think some girls will stay wit' you for good. 'Til you tell 'em it's time-ta go. But I think when it comes down-ta it, it's the ones that really know you, that know when it's time-ta leave. 'n' then they're gone 'n' there ain't shit you can do 'bout it.

44 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

Let me pretend like I'm still active. Or have reason-ta be. [20 Jul 2007|07:16pm]
[ mood | hanging ]

Rapper Eminem Does Basically Nothing with Life

By Marshall Mathers

DETROIT, MI. - Marshall "Eminem" Mathers can't even be googled these days.

Years before, it seemed like you couldn't turn around without seeing or hearing about Eminem doing something, somewhere. Upsetting parents, fake murdering his wife, arguing with fellow rappers, canceling appearances, overcoming personal problems. His songs were overplayed on the radio to the point of people requesting bans on certain songs. His legal troubles always seemed to be profiled in tabloids and in the news. If you were looking for media controversy, Eminem certainly had his place toward the top.

But that was then.

So, where is the rapper now? No one really knows. Friends of the rapper claim he's in the studio working on new material, but he hasn't really been seen around since 3/28/07. Now, months later, the few people who remember him are wondering if he's dropped off the face of the earth. Or if he's done anything on earth but be divorced and talk about Mariah Carey over this past year...

I don't know, man.

24 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[10 Jun 2007|11:06pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I ain't really got a whole lot-ta say right at this minute. It ain't like I've done much-ta speak 'bout anyways. But I am online for one rare instant 'cause I'm tryin'-ta figure out how-ta remember who people are 'gain. Remind me.

LJMarshallBruce, leave yours. Or don't, if you ain't ever gonna IM me. All screened.

10 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[18 May 2007|08:25am]
Hey. Hittin' 6 weeks sounded like-a good idea-ta me. >:o

More on this later.

[11 Apr 2007|12:12am]
[ mood | groggy ]

I lost my best friend a year ago today. 'n' I don't wanna go too much in-ta talkin' 'bout it. But it's been a real long year since.

We're never gonna fucking stop missin' you, Proof.

The day also happens-ta be my girlfriend's birthday, which I didn't realize 'til a couple weeks 'go. After we got back together. But I think there has-ta be some good sign in that shit. I ain't sure what it is yet, but there's gotta be sump'thin there somewhere. I don't know.

Anyways, Happy Birthday, Kelli. I'll write you your own locked post later on.

10 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[01 Apr 2007|10:31pm]
[ mood | lost ]

I rear-ended a woman the other day.Collapse )

13 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[20 Mar 2007|10:23pm]
[ mood | fine ]

New D12 album is 'sposed-ta come out next month. My own record ain't gonna be done 'til prolly sometime Novemberish. I been just bein' alone. Workin' on music. Workin' on myself. Sortin' shit out. Tryin'-ta figure out if I'm done here or not.

Ask me sump'thin anonymous or tell me sump'thin anonymous. All is screened.

Maybe somebody'll give me sump'thin-ta come back for or else good reason-ta be gone for good.

26 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[31 Dec 2006|11:25pm]
[ mood | n/a ]

I'm in the studio right now. I came here as soon as I finished my radio shit up 'n' unlocked the place from where we closed up a few hours ago. It's real, real quiet 'n' pretty dark since everythin's shut down, off, 'n' everybody but me has gone home. Or wherever they went. There's nothin'-ta do here really but I ain't sure where I'm supposed-ta be right now. I could be a million places right now, any number. I coulda went anywhere 'n' been wit' more than-a couple people. Instead, I'm here. The TV in the lounge room glowin' is the only light on. The couch in here is orange. Orange. I don't know who has-a orange couch. Everytime I see anybody on Cribs their couch is either white or black. No middle ground. Although I don't know who the fuck actually sits on-a white couch. I could just look at-a white couch 'n' it'd be dirty. Black's different, but most-a the black ends up bein' leather 'n' you don't sit on leather couches either. Orange reminds me-a muppets or sump'thin. Like somebody murdered a muppet 'n' now I'm sittin' on it. Which fits, for some reason.

I got no drink in my hand. No drugs. I don't even got my cell phone. I think I left it in the car, it's prolly there right now on the seat. Maybe somebody'll break in 'n' steal it. Hack in-ta it. 'n' half-a you will be gettin' some calls from whoever it is. Tellin' you Happy New Year here in 'bout an hour. There's no one-ta my left, or-ta the right. I've locked myself in. I can see the actual studio a little from where I'm sittin', even though it's all dark there's still some shit glarin' off the glass in there. If whoever steals my cell phone wants-ta break in 'n' knock me out, now would be-a good time-ta do it 'cause I wouldn't suspect none-a it.

I coulda been just 'bout anywhere 'n' it wasn't that I didn't wanna be. I pictured myself goin'-ta some-a the places. Nothin' felt right. Not even one-a them that woulda made the most sense. I ain't sure where I fit at anymore. 'n' when you reach the point where you can't move forward or backward or even stand still, you gotta hit pause 'n' lock yourself in 'til you know where you're goin' 'gain. Either that or dig yourself-a hole 'n' never decide one way or another.

This, by far, has been the most clear 'n' unclear year-a my life. Clear 'cause it's the first time I can say wit' honesty that I remember sump'thin 'bout every single month. Unclear 'cause it was-a real messy year. I wouldn't say it's the worst year-a my life, but it's been pretty close for a couple reasons. It's been a lot-ta work through. So much shit happened, 'n' yet I do feel like I been paused the whole year. Like I been sittin' down here this whole time 'n' watchin' people go on wit'-out me, continuin'-ta move forward 'n' develop things in their lives 'n' I just stayed the same place I was 'n' watched. I had people try 'n' pry me out, try 'n' help me move along 'n' come wit' 'em. But I wasn't ready-ta go. I was the guy standin' still on the street while everyone else was drivin' past 'n' movin' 'round me in blur. I saw some-a it but I missed most-a it. I lost her, I got married, I lost a life-long friend, I lost friends, I lost girlfriends, I fucked up, I lost myself, I fucked up some more, I got divorced, I lost more friends, I lost more girlfriends, I fucked up five or ten more times. 'n' somewhere in all that shit, it brought me here where I'm sittin'. I ain't alone. I got some. Just less. That happens. I'm still here. Whatever that makes me, let the timeline speak for itself or drawn on your own assumptions for that shit.

'n' I gotta be honest, I kinda expected-ta be where I'm at right now after how this year has been. It was kinda how it was just destined-ta end up. It's the reason I couldn't see myself no where else tonight, at an hour 'fore the ball's gonna drop. Mentally, I wouldn't be any place else anyways but right here. Re-hashin' out the whole year. Not movin'. Watchin' Three 6 Mafia on the TV. Tryin'-ta work it out. Tryin'-ta get it together. I'll sleep here, on this muppet couch. I'll unlock the doors too early tomorrow 'n' go outside-ta breathe. 'n' let people back in.

I told one-a my best friend's last year that I hoped 2006 was the year I finally got my head together. Clearly that shit didn't happen.

But here's-ta 2007.

[05 Dec 2006|10:10pm]
[ mood | wired ]

Y'know, it's been-a real long time since I been on 106 & Park 'n' caught up wit' those people. 'n' prolly even longer that I spent more than ten minutes on TRL so Monday was real fucking crazy. 'Cause we was there for the whole hour wit' all those screamin' people. Me 'n' 50, I brought just 'bout everyone from my label-ta get their names out there 'n' have it all be known. 'Cause that's what we was there for, might as well bring everyone out for it. But it was real good, y'know. They had-ta pull me away from the window more than-a couple times 'cause I wasn't done lookin' down at the kids goin' crazy for us down there. I missed that shit, after months-a not hearin' it. More like a whole year now, but I ain't countin' no more.

It's always a little surreal when you're on TRL anyways. I'm too aware-a myself on there. I'm focused on how I'm lookin'-ta the people there, the people watchin' at home, my kids who I know'll end up seein' it if they're in the right place at the right time, my friends, my family, the label, my label, everybody. You gotta always be aware-a the words that are comin' out your mouth at all times 'n' I guess I can't help but be like that. 50 ain't even half as worried 'bout that shit as I am, he just says what comes. Maybe it's 'cause I'm older than he is or some shit, I don't know. Or maybe he's just always been better at it than I am.

There's also that worry in the pit-a your stomach that you're gonna be asked shit that you know you don't wanna answer. Even if you clear certain things 'fore-hand that you ain't comfortable wit' talkin' 'bout, you're up there in front-a everybody 'n' there's always-a chance sump'thins gonna be thrown at you that you ain't ready for. 'n' I don't know. There's still shit I don't wanna talk 'bout. At length or at all.

'n' there's all this shit that I'm always distracted wit' on there, not just the fans outside on inside, but some-a these new videos I never seen 'fore 'n' the shit goin' on 'round us that the camera ain't seein'. 'n' Jessica Alba's big dumb face on webcam while me 'n' 50 was back in the green room tryin'-ta get our questions together. There's so much shit goin' on 'n' like-a asshole I'm all outta it most-a the time. 50 had-ta nudge me awake a couple times, I think. So, yeah, I just ain't good at this shit. I'm outta practice. 'n' I don't like seein' The Game's shit at #5 on the Countdown. We was at #2, beat out by Christina Aguilera cryin' at the Circus but I guess I can let that slide.

All-a this was-ta promote The Re-Up comin' out today, so help support us by runnin' out 'n' gettin' that. I gotta make-a comeback somehow 'n' this is-a good way-ta start it out. 'n' if you're 'bout ready-ta cry yourself-ta sleep over missin' us on TRL, here's the performance 'n' pretty much all of it.

37 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[15 Nov 2006|11:58pm]
[ mood | almost done ]

There's really nothin'-ta say right now that would be appropriate or understandable.

Besides, y'know. That Kelli is my girl, not yours. Ha-ha.

New video. 'n' no, I won't cut it.

35 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

Jay-Z's comin' back from retirement too [18 Sep 2006|10:54pm]
[ mood | :x ]

Eminem Back With New Album

Rumours of Eminem's retirement seem premature as he is due back with a new album next month.

NME.com reports the Re-Up will be a collaboration with DJ Whoo Kid, and will also feature other rappers.

Dr Dre, 50 Cent, Jay-Z and Obie Trice are also among the artists featured on the album.

But it is expected to feature six new tracks from Eminem, including a new single Things Need To Change dedicated to his D-12 bandmate Proof who was shot earlier this year.

© NewsRoom 2006

So, I been busy. Tryin'-ta do a little sump'thin for my own career and get over some-a this stuff in the process. I been catchin' up wit' people that I ain't really given time in-a real long time. I been remindin' myself what I been missin' all this time that I been in keepin' away from all this shit. It ain't all been good, it ain't all be bad. But at least it's been sump'thin.

I know it won't be long 'fore I go back there-ta see most-a what was there gone, but I don't know how-ta stop it anymore. 'n' there's no point in stoppin' it when it's prolly what's for the best anyways. You can't hold on-ta that shit forever, especially when you don't know how-ta keep it.

The storm's been comin' back now 'n' then. It's just what ends up followin' me, no matter how many months go by. 'n' I think if I wasn't able-ta take her 'round every where wit' me, I woulda left everythin' else behind weeks ago. She's 'round me a lot lately. 'n' for the first time in-a real long time, I ain't feelin' like I wanna push back from it. I like findin' her on the bed, chewin' on her hair, all nervous 'n' addicted-ta watchin' DVDs of TV shows I never seen. I know where-ta find her when I get back from workin'. 'n' if I'm at the studio too long, she won't ring my cell phone too much. But when I get back-ta her, she'll yell at me for not bein' back sooner. 'n' I like that 'bout her.

I figured I was real overdue for-a update 'n' this is 'bout the best I got. I got more-ta say but I'll leave it for now. New York is back on Flava of Love, life is goin' aight.

44 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[31 Jul 2006|11:18pm]
[ mood | right ]

I'm real slowly startin'-ta realize that when people ask me how I been or what I been up-ta that I don't really got-a answer for 'em. I been good, I been bad, I been tired, I been moody, I been outta it, I been in it. 'n' then I just been. I'm still in the gray area, I thought I woulda fought my way outta it by now. I been in-a tunnel-a some kind. Maybe it's-a comfort zone or some shit, but there ain't no real comfort-ta it. It's been a lot like some kinda rehab, it's been one day at-a time, through all-a it. I was tellin' someone a minute ago that months seem like years-ta me now, 'cause they do. I couldn't tell you what life was like last month, it's been-a blur I can't remember right now. I think I been walkin' 'round wit'-out feelin' too much for nothin', I think I been sleepwalkin' through shit. I only got wakin' moments now 'n' then-ta remind me what's goin' on.

One-a those wakin' moments are rude awakenin's, I don't know what the fuck I was thinkin' marryin' this woman twice, man. I shoulda been stopped. If I ever in some state of complete fucking retardation try 'n' marry this woman again, I want one-a you-ta put me out my own misery. 'Cause that's all any-a this has been, misery. I see the kids as much as I can see 'em, when we ain't fightin' over all that needs resolved. I ain't even really allowed-ta talk-ta her but we never did follow the rules. I just want it-ta be done wit', 'n' I'm 'bout ready-ta give her my right 'n' left arm just-ta have that happen right now.

Another one-a those moments was when I was gettin' outta the bathroom in my Vegas apartment the other day 'n' saw her hairbrush sittin' by the sink. Wit' her gross hair in it. 'Cause she's gross, don't let her little make-up commercials fool you. I picked her hairbrush up 'n' realized that I live wit' someone now. 'n'-a female, even. I ain't lived wit'-a girl in years 'n' me 'n' her have been in the same apartment for over a month. 'n' both-a us are still alive, surprisin'ly. But that shit could change at any second if she keeps tellin' people I'm gay just 'cause I pay attention-ta her sad little career. >:o She's not really in the tunnel wit' me, but she gets through sometimes 'n' snaps me outta it so we can watch movies 'n' hate everyone in 'em.

Any other moments are some that come 'n' go. I come outta it-ta yell at someone over shit that prolly makes no difference-ta them, I'm knocked outta it when someone is tryin'-ta remind me they still give-a shit 'bout me. I phase in 'n' outta it. I'd tell one-a you-ta come wake me up completely but that whole thing 'bout not wakin' sleepwalkers 'cause they'll go insane 'n' kill you could be true. Especially when it's me.

I think overall, I just been tryin'-ta fit the pieces where they do. I figure once I got 'em all, I won't be in the tunnel no more. They may not lay the same as they did 'fore any-a this but it'll be some way-ta deal wit' things on the outside 'gain.

38 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[18 Jul 2006|11:04pm]
[ mood | bang bang ]

I'd do-a real update at some point but I'm too busy punchin' out guys in strip clubs that talk-ta me while I pee. Or not.

I need some inspiration 'n' somehow I ain't findin' it in strip clubs.

98 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[29 Jun 2006|09:33pm]
[ mood | good ]

In case you ain't had your TV set on lately, I left my house for Busta Rhymes.

51 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

[25 Jun 2006|10:30pm]
[ mood | torn ]

I been livin' two or three different lives in these last couple months that I been tryin'-ta make sense-a shit. 'n' that's prolly gonna sound more crazy than I even usually sound, but it's the truth. I've kinda been split up in-ta more than one person 'n' tryin'-ta figure out how-ta pull myself back together 'gain. But I'm at least three different people. I'm the old me, 'fore all-a this happened, livin' like I woulda lived 'fore. I'm the me that's in the middle, the one fightin', 'n' tryin'-ta ignore shit 'n' keep it all together for her, for my friends, 'n' for the kids.

'n' then I'm what I really am now. The one who doesn't really know what the fuck-ta do wit' anythin' anymore. The one that's really just fakin' the two other people 'cause if I don't, I could let 'em go 'n' end up bein' stuck like this shit for good.

I wouldn't call nothin' the last straw or any shit like that, 'cause I wouldn't really say there was-a real first straw. But there was-a moment where I was lookin' at her through tunnel vision 'n' I knew that I was either gonna keep tryin'-ta be the second person-ta her wit'-out admittin' I didn't wanna be that person all the time, or else I had-ta drop all facades 'n' just be what I was. It ain't 'cause that's how I want it 'n' it sure as hell ain't all 'cause what some dumbass posted in-a public place. I just couldn't work any more when I was workin' through-a divorce, 'n' on so much other shit 'n' I was tired-a not bein' everythin' I wanted-ta be, 'n' knowin' I had-ta be more.

I think I'm just in this place right now where I really gotta find out how-ta get back-ta bein' myself. Maybe even not what I was 'fore these last few months, but whatever I am now. I can't figure that out 'n' be aight 'gain when all I keep worryin' 'bout is what I ain't givin'-ta somebody else. It ain't set in yet, it won't for-a while. I'll prolly have regrets if I don't have enough already. 'n' it's hard for her or anyone else-ta really understand. But that's just where I gotta be right now.

9 will bail me out (Liars!)| If I get locked up tonight...

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